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When Shots are Not Optional
Sometimes shots are necessary. Shots are necessary on the morning before your wedding, when you wake up full of angry, twitchy nerves, darting snappy comments at anyone who dares look your way. They are necessary after getting your pubic hair ripped off in rural New Hampshire … [Read more...]
A Husband’s Assessment of the Contestants on The Bachelorette
photo source Because it's been two weeks since the final rose, and obviously she chose the exactly wrong type of guy (the relationship is a carbon copy of the ill-fated Andy/Josh duo, and we all know how that ended, just like we all know the bachelor/bachelorette should always … [Read more...]
Food Fails
Everything started out great. Two eggs from Wednesday’s Farmer’s Market, round and brown and full of potential. Nutty, grainy, bread, all set for the toaster. I give the first egg a tentative tap against my counter, and immediately realize it was a bad tap, too half-hearted, not … [Read more...]
18 [Equally Ineffective] Ways To Say “Stop Being An Asshole” To Your Child
“Let’s practice our patience.” “I can’t understand you when you whine.” “Use your words.” “Do you see Bobby’s sweaty, crimson, tear-smeared face? Can you hear his primordial howls of fury? How do you think he feels right now?” “Do you think that was a gentle touch?” … [Read more...]
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