WANTED

Small criminal.

Alias: Songbird

Age: 4 months

Appearance: Tiny. Last seen wearing a pink pony romper.

Offences: bobbling around like a little pet, having the audacity to possess a passport, pronouncing “bye” like a southern belle, stealing laundry and thinking it’s hilarious, having super round cheeks and eating like a chipmunk on multiple occasions, shooting nefarious come-hither glances towards hapless strangers, flaunting her teddy bear tummy, existing while being dangerously snuggleable.